How much caffeine did she have?

No, not me. Miss Chunko. She is currently practicing what she has to do for her testing to upgrade her instructor status. Yesterday during class, she got most of the points that she needed to do out of habit, but there were a few that she had to brush up on. Well, today, she was teaching class, and well, you would have thought that this generally perky 18 year old gal had drank about 15 cappuccinos. She was going a little crazy. Part of it is that she was trying to make sure that she was keeping the energy levels up, and that we kept moving. Nothing wrong with that, but it was 7 PM, after a long day, and I'm not exactly in tip top shape, overweight, asthmatic and have bad knees (the back is better, thank you). So, 'nuff said. I just was ready to keel over and I couldn't keep up. I got through the exercises/drills with a little bit of trouble, but overall kept up. We finally went over the form. I knew next to nothing of it, so I was cramming in about 2/3rds of what we need to know so far for it in one night. Yikes. I think I have it, but thank God I have two guides to refer to to help me review it, since I was crash coursing so much of it. Generally is was easier than the form I just did, but it's still new, and I really have to work on perfecting the moves. Yes, I know, I have to get them down first, but I need to make this new form good too, as this is the one I most likely will be competing with in June, unless I get the next one down really fast. We'll see. Sparring went fine-- up against Michael who is a Downs kid, and he and I have fun doing it. And then Sharon, and Sharon was more exhausted than me, so we went through the motions, so that helped. But board breaking. Man, that was easy tonight. I decided that I would try something different, as I was a little afraid to try the side kick, since I have too many reservations about doing it. I dunno, it's been a while. So, I did a front kick. BAM! Got it on the first try. Sharon was amazed. She is having a hard time with the front kick, and can do the side kick with no problem, and yet I'm the opposite. No problem, to each their own. But at least I found some success with that. Oh yeah. BAM on the first try. So at least I have a basic foot board break that I don't even have to think about.

So tonight's class was good, but it got a little goofy with Miss Chunko going a little overly gung ho. Got some good giggles as well as one heckuva workout, for sure.

I had emailed Ma'am with the tournament forms stuff this afternoon, and she only made one tweak, which was that the charities had changed, so that's easy to fix. I guess starting tomorrow, starting by hitting up the chiropractor, I'm in the business of getting ads for this program and raising some funds. Wa-hoo.

Drew and I also have the interschool tournament tomorrow, so I think after the regional, this will be a cinch. I still have to do well, of course, but it's in front of Ma'am, so it'll be easier.

In over my head

I wrote a little about this in my regular blog, but I'll expound upon it here. I am really feeling way in over my head still about joining leadership. I mean, what was I thinking? I think there are some higher expectations for me too now, since I am getting more involved in the business side of things and not just the instructor end of things.

Before class started, Ma'am told me she had some things for me on her desk. I couldn't exactly imagine what it was, but it was materials for the tournament program. She said the person who used to do it is no longer with the school and never thought that was happening (whatever), but nobody had copies of what they had, so she had some older stuff from Master Raimondi to use as guides. She seems to be having a lot of confidence in having me do this. Yikes. I'll do my best, of course, but still, it's a big responsibility.

Class was more intense than this program business. Three of the instructor trainees are up for testing, so we were all used as their guinea pigs of sorts while they "practiced". The one teenager, Ms. Chunko who has taught Drew quite a bit, did fine. Ms. Kawaski also did fine,. Both of them teach the kids on a regular basis, so most of it came naturally to them. Mr. Dr. Phillips (as there is a Mrs. Dr. Phillips) seemed a little more awkward, and didn't know exactly how to keep things humming. His attitude was good, but he kinda stumble and faultered in talking to us. I'm sure he'll be fine-- he already teached Kendo fighting, so maybe it was just being put on the spotlight that made him nervous. What made me anxious had to do with being the only color belt in the class. The information that was being presented for these instructors' testing was material I haven't done at all. There were skills and steps I've never done, combinations I've never done, and it was thrown at us kamikaze style, or at least it felt that way to me. That's simply because a) I don't know any of this material, whereas these black belts all had it a long time ago and b) I swear I'm getting old and don't pick up stuff as quickly as I used to. I was paired up with Victoria, and I'm sure she was rather annoyed with me. She knows the material inside and out, and is one of Ma'am better teen teachers, but I think I tried her patience a little, but not intentionally. I was doing roundkicks when I should've been doing side kicks, which she was constantly correcting, and the reverse crescent kicks thoroughly confused me. I was making an effort though, and laughing at myself when I royally screwed up. Oh well. The only thing I can say is that I'm sure that I will have a fairly natural ability to teach than some people. I am a people person after all. I know I work with the SA kids and the little kids well, so that will help. I had been talking to a fellow adult student tonight who has his black belt, but started in leadership a few months ago, and he said he hasn't cracked open the big manual as of yet, so that was a little encouraging that I'm not the only one who feels like it's a lot of information.

After class with the post-meeting, Ma'am mentioned some business stuff and that I was involved in them. I guess it was cool that she was pointing me out as more of a person getting into the business end of things, but somewhat intimidating at the same time, seeing that I'm just starting to get my toes wet in all of this.

I'm just feeling rather overwhelmed by all of this. What have I gotten myself into? I've said this before, that I know there is no rush in learning all this or getting involved in this stuff, but still...it's a lot to swallow even a little at a time when you look at the magnitude of it all. What was I thinking? Was my drive to do competitions and have a chance at some tournament glory a moment when I was pulling the wool over my own eyes? I don't know. While I feel like there is outside confidence that I can do this, I'm really feeling my own self-esteem wavering. Man, if I fail at this, it's going to be a big blow. Why do I always jump in head first at full force instead of just biding my time?

In the meantime, Drew was up to some of his usual antics in class. I could see he was half participating here and there. He had an argument with me just before class, where he wanted to run on the mats, and even asked another boy to do it with him. The boy very politely declined, and he had also been told that he wasn't supposed to run on the mats anyway, so major temper tantrum tears ensued. It took a while to calm him down. At least I got a pinch of introductory training today. I was shown how the cards are checked in to show attendence in class. It was easy, but I have to say that I wonder if the girls really pay attention. The program showed that 9 kids were there merely from their cards, when there was clearly more than that, and that's not including the introductory kids visiting. Oh well. When I start to get to know everyone, then it'll be easier to get the hang of things and make sure records are more accurate. I also spent some time cutting up sheets that had paper stars to hand out in class. so that kept me a little occupied. Drew was happy at the end of class as he got his certificate showing that he was an orange belt.

We have our interschool tournament on Friday, so we'll see how that goes. Drew seems to be interested in getting a medal, and participating. Only time will tell.

New Icon here

Yes, we interrupt your blog reading to make you see that the fat Buddha lady that was there before has been replaced by a South Park rendition of me in my current full uniform. I hope you like it.

Man, what drug was I taking when I signed up for Leadership?

I was questioning again what I had gotten myself into today again with jumping into Leadership after dropping off the last bit of equipment from last Saturday's tournament over at the ATA today. It was all informal, as Ma'am and Nancy were cleaning up stuff and trying to get the back all organized. I had never much gone in the back of the office area (and still haven't gone upstairs-- I didn't know there was an upstairs!), so it was revealing-- and a mess. But, Nancy is on a kick to help Ma'am get better organized and cleaned up. That's fine. I also helped clear out Nancy's car of tournament stuff, and then I helped (due to my height) rehanging two flags on the wall, as Nancy and her husband and Ma'am are working to refurbish and refreshen the look of the school. I didn't mind helping with that. While I was there too, Ma'am gave me my Leadership Training Guide, which is a 4" thick binder full of a lot of information. She, Nancy and I were also talking about business training, and she gave me the business training manual, which is essentially a sales manual. Ma'am, having enough confidence in knowing that I already do sales said, "You're going to laugh when you read this stuff. It's so funny especially if you've done sales to read these scripts." She also informed me that there will be a business seminar/workout at Mrs. C.'s school (the one in South Brunswick, which is probably as close to me as the Princeton ATA if not a hair closer) on May 12th, and she hasn't announced it to the rest of the group. She said there was a $50 fee, and somehow I lost something in there, but I somehow got the impression that she might cover it for me if I can go with her. I'll have to double check and listen when she announces on Wednesday at Leadership class to make sure.

After I left, and later today when I got home, I started to look at these binders. Crap. Double crap. What did I get myself into? I'm feeling pretty insecure and overwhelmed at the information. I mean, I felt overwhelmed just with the new Leadership class alone last week. It was bad enough that I have to learn ALL the forms, weapons forms, etc. including my own which I still haven't learned myself yet (but that's a little understandable to be overwhelmed by that), but there's so much more to it, including the business side. I'm trying not to freak out just yet, as when you start something big and new like this, it's always overwhelming, and I appreciate that. But this is something that you have to be into for the long haul if you are truly serious about it. So, since I've only truly put myself into this in the last week or so since signing up, I just have to learn to pace myself and trust that Ma'am will lead me in the right direction. She hasn't let me down yet.