I have to keep a level head. I've been telling many people that tomorrow is the day I get my black belt. For the non-martial arts person, I can say that. But for all of you who read this regularly (and thank you for doing so, by the way), you know that's not the deal in reality. Tomorrow is the day I probably will get my black belt. There is no guarantee. It is all up to me, in the end, and very often, it comes down to the boards. If I don't break them, no dice. I've been able to do it, so I've been confident, but there's always a first time due to nerves or what have you. So yeah, I'm starting to get a little nervous, although in theory I shouldn't be. I know the material. I know what I have to do in order to get the job done. I know I can do what's expected of me. Is it that I'm nervous to do it in front of people? Not so much. Yes, my husband is coming to watch for the occasion. He rarely goes to testings. I think the last time he tried to go with Drew in tow was for my camo belt, and that was a disaster. He didn't even see me receive the belt because Drew was acting up. Drew now has instructions to go play in the back office if he's too bored. And the large majority of the people who will be watching are the same people who have watched me test through the ranks, who practice with me and learn with me on a weekly basis, so I know I've got a lot of support.
I have a lot of things going in my favor. And for the most part, I am confident that I can follow through on what I have to do. I've trained for this for two years. I've made adjustments to ensure success. So why, now at the almost literal and figurative 11th hour am I starting to have doubts and get nervous? I don't know. Maybe it's because I've seen people try and not succeed. I've come close to not succeeding myself a few times, but did by the skin of my teeth. Maybe it's just because I know that perhaps in grounding myself and finding some humility in what I have to do tomorrow, that is setting me for the path of being a true black belt. Humble, yet confident in many ways, and knowing I still have a long way to go, even though I've come very far.
Send lots of prayers/good karma/good thoughts my way. I'm going to need it, I think.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Getting closer
At this writing, I am about 3 days away from testing. I'm not really nervous as of yet. I'm sure the butterflies will kick in just as I get there, I'm sure.
I haven't written like I usually do as I had a TKD related injury. I'm fine now, but it took a few days to heal so that I could type without it hurting! I'll explain in a moment.
We didn't have the usual Wednesday morning class, as SW was flying out to Fall Nationals that day, so I only had the evening classes, which was fine. Drew had his Wednesday class, and they did a practice graduation after doing some suicide drills. ;-) That's right, get them good and tired first! Drew was the first one up, as he was the only real Tiny Tiger, meaning that being the age he's at, he can still do only half the form and with the assistance of an instructor. Once he turns 7, he doesn't have that luxury. If he knew it all by himself, and the whole thing, then he could be eligible to go into the Karate for Kids program, and test like a 7 year old, but seeing as this is the first testing he's done in many months, I haven't pushed it. So, I watched as he did his half form with RA by himself in front of everyone, being the youngest one there, and the lowest ranked. Let me tell you, while it wasn't perfect, it was a lot better than I thought it would be! He did a great job! He still had some problems with his reverse hook, but considering that's an advanced move for a Camo belt (as it's a red belt/black belt recommended move), I think it's easily forgiven. He didn't wiggle or step out of place from where he should be. Later, after the older kids did it, RA commented to all ove them on how they were more wiggly and out of place than the 6 year old, and they should be able to do it as well as him, if not better. So Drew was actually getting a compliment and setting the example, which made him rather proud. I wasn't able to watch his weapons routine, but I assume he was fine. He plans to do his JB during graduation, and since it's optional and a freestyle (meaning he can't make any mistakes), he can get an extra fabric star for his uniform, which would be cool.
I took double classes, and we did practice graduation too. What was fun was that PS was back in class after a long absence, as she is hoping to start back regularly soon. Hooray! She's a lot of fun in class. We did some drills and such too first, and afterwards, we had NK and EL "judging" us. I am pleased to say that a lot of the finer details of things that I've been working on have paid off. They didn't feel I really had to do any extra tweaks at all, that I had nailed it. With my BME, I had to fine tune the "snake" move, but otherwise, it's good. It's just a hard move to do in the air vs. doing it with another person. We didn't do sparring, but being the only person who really needed practice with a board break, I did it. Got both breaks on the first try! Yay! During instructor class, we worked on teaching each other how to do different weapons forms. Since PS and I are closest in rank, even though there's a big of a chasm at the moment, I had drills to review with her, so I was teaching her the SJB drills and BME drills. I think she got the concepts pretty well, although I can't say how good a teacher I am with some of the more complicated moves. Part of what makes it difficult for her is that being that she works out from her sport wheelchair, there are still some things that are difficult because the chair gets in the way. I think one tip I gave her will help as she practices. It involved the SJB, and it was one I learned the hard way, but I think it will benefit her. She was accidentally clobbering herself with hers (thank goodness they are foam covered!), and she thought the chair was part of the problem. Well, the chair was, but the other thing that I learned, because I used to clobber myself in the head, and I have no chair, is that you have to keep your elbow up all the time. Kind of like doing it all the time with chicken wings. Seriously, I saw almost immediate improvement. I think with some practice, she'll have it in no time. :-)
I had to practice board breaking again. If I remember, I got the roundkick off in the first try, but not the reverse. I think it's that the kids were holding it too high and too far back. I did get it on the second try. So, I will have to make sure that my holders are not afraid, and they have to trust that I'm putting the boards in the right place. I know I'm tall, but they think my waist is about 5 feet off the ground, and I'm 5'10"! My waist isn't that high up, really, even if I do have long legs.
Then it happened. I, in turn, was helping hold a board for someone else, namely BU, who is probably the biggest guy in the school, and a 2nd degree. I am usually paired up with him often in classes, so I know his nature is to be gentle and not Mr. Macho, but he gets the job done too. So, I'm holding the board with another guy, and BU is doing some sort of reverse jump kick. My hands were placed (from my perspective behind the board) at the upper left and lower right corners. We locked the board out, and I know I locked my arms correctly. Then it happened. WHAM! Then some of the most intense pain I've had in a very, very, very long time eminating from my left hand. BU missed-- he hit the top left hand corner very hard, and it stung the tip of my left index finger, but worse, the impact severely injured the meaty part of my palm under my thumb of that hand. I had to walk away because I was in so much pain, and was trying to just calm myself down and not start crying in front of everyone, because no matter how much it hurt, even if it was broken, crying would be really embarassing, y'know? The pain radiated up and down my arm, especially between my wrist and elbow, and I couldn't get ice on it anytime soon. We did some joint lock stuff, but fortunately, my partner was sweet little MC, and she was patient and understanding that I couldn't do the drills completely, just one handed (literally). We bowed out, and I went to try to change my gi pants to my jeans, and I had to keep from screaming because I could barely move my hand. I could wiggle fingers, so I knew that was a good sign, but again the pain was so bad that I was tempted to drive straight to the hospital, which isn't far from there. I didn't. I just went home, and my husband had to help me with the littlest tasks. I iced it, wrapped it up loosely in an ace bandage, and loaded up on painkillers/stuff to help with the inflammation. By morning, it was a little better, and the swelling had gone down. I was getting more use of my hand, but it was very clear the following day, and especially two days later that I had this big black bruise on that meaty part of my hand. Thank goodness I'm a righty! The bruise is still there, but it's definitely getting better, thankfully. I have full use of my hand again, and it's just a little sore to the touch. I can make a fist again, and I'm not afraid of using it in sparring now! ;-) So, that was a little traumatic, but I'm glad that nothing is broken, and it's just a bad bruise.
So, tomorrow Drew gets one more practice class in, and I have one more practice class on Wednesday morning. After last Wednesday's reviews of how I was doing, I should feel pretty confident that I'll be fine. I just have to stay calm, and relax, because I know the material very well. I know what I have to do, and I just have to stay focused. I'll probably still get sick to my stomach before I start anyway. But I have to keep my eyes on the prize-- that long awaited, much anticipated, strongly earned 1st degree black belt.
I haven't written like I usually do as I had a TKD related injury. I'm fine now, but it took a few days to heal so that I could type without it hurting! I'll explain in a moment.
We didn't have the usual Wednesday morning class, as SW was flying out to Fall Nationals that day, so I only had the evening classes, which was fine. Drew had his Wednesday class, and they did a practice graduation after doing some suicide drills. ;-) That's right, get them good and tired first! Drew was the first one up, as he was the only real Tiny Tiger, meaning that being the age he's at, he can still do only half the form and with the assistance of an instructor. Once he turns 7, he doesn't have that luxury. If he knew it all by himself, and the whole thing, then he could be eligible to go into the Karate for Kids program, and test like a 7 year old, but seeing as this is the first testing he's done in many months, I haven't pushed it. So, I watched as he did his half form with RA by himself in front of everyone, being the youngest one there, and the lowest ranked. Let me tell you, while it wasn't perfect, it was a lot better than I thought it would be! He did a great job! He still had some problems with his reverse hook, but considering that's an advanced move for a Camo belt (as it's a red belt/black belt recommended move), I think it's easily forgiven. He didn't wiggle or step out of place from where he should be. Later, after the older kids did it, RA commented to all ove them on how they were more wiggly and out of place than the 6 year old, and they should be able to do it as well as him, if not better. So Drew was actually getting a compliment and setting the example, which made him rather proud. I wasn't able to watch his weapons routine, but I assume he was fine. He plans to do his JB during graduation, and since it's optional and a freestyle (meaning he can't make any mistakes), he can get an extra fabric star for his uniform, which would be cool.
I took double classes, and we did practice graduation too. What was fun was that PS was back in class after a long absence, as she is hoping to start back regularly soon. Hooray! She's a lot of fun in class. We did some drills and such too first, and afterwards, we had NK and EL "judging" us. I am pleased to say that a lot of the finer details of things that I've been working on have paid off. They didn't feel I really had to do any extra tweaks at all, that I had nailed it. With my BME, I had to fine tune the "snake" move, but otherwise, it's good. It's just a hard move to do in the air vs. doing it with another person. We didn't do sparring, but being the only person who really needed practice with a board break, I did it. Got both breaks on the first try! Yay! During instructor class, we worked on teaching each other how to do different weapons forms. Since PS and I are closest in rank, even though there's a big of a chasm at the moment, I had drills to review with her, so I was teaching her the SJB drills and BME drills. I think she got the concepts pretty well, although I can't say how good a teacher I am with some of the more complicated moves. Part of what makes it difficult for her is that being that she works out from her sport wheelchair, there are still some things that are difficult because the chair gets in the way. I think one tip I gave her will help as she practices. It involved the SJB, and it was one I learned the hard way, but I think it will benefit her. She was accidentally clobbering herself with hers (thank goodness they are foam covered!), and she thought the chair was part of the problem. Well, the chair was, but the other thing that I learned, because I used to clobber myself in the head, and I have no chair, is that you have to keep your elbow up all the time. Kind of like doing it all the time with chicken wings. Seriously, I saw almost immediate improvement. I think with some practice, she'll have it in no time. :-)
I had to practice board breaking again. If I remember, I got the roundkick off in the first try, but not the reverse. I think it's that the kids were holding it too high and too far back. I did get it on the second try. So, I will have to make sure that my holders are not afraid, and they have to trust that I'm putting the boards in the right place. I know I'm tall, but they think my waist is about 5 feet off the ground, and I'm 5'10"! My waist isn't that high up, really, even if I do have long legs.
Then it happened. I, in turn, was helping hold a board for someone else, namely BU, who is probably the biggest guy in the school, and a 2nd degree. I am usually paired up with him often in classes, so I know his nature is to be gentle and not Mr. Macho, but he gets the job done too. So, I'm holding the board with another guy, and BU is doing some sort of reverse jump kick. My hands were placed (from my perspective behind the board) at the upper left and lower right corners. We locked the board out, and I know I locked my arms correctly. Then it happened. WHAM! Then some of the most intense pain I've had in a very, very, very long time eminating from my left hand. BU missed-- he hit the top left hand corner very hard, and it stung the tip of my left index finger, but worse, the impact severely injured the meaty part of my palm under my thumb of that hand. I had to walk away because I was in so much pain, and was trying to just calm myself down and not start crying in front of everyone, because no matter how much it hurt, even if it was broken, crying would be really embarassing, y'know? The pain radiated up and down my arm, especially between my wrist and elbow, and I couldn't get ice on it anytime soon. We did some joint lock stuff, but fortunately, my partner was sweet little MC, and she was patient and understanding that I couldn't do the drills completely, just one handed (literally). We bowed out, and I went to try to change my gi pants to my jeans, and I had to keep from screaming because I could barely move my hand. I could wiggle fingers, so I knew that was a good sign, but again the pain was so bad that I was tempted to drive straight to the hospital, which isn't far from there. I didn't. I just went home, and my husband had to help me with the littlest tasks. I iced it, wrapped it up loosely in an ace bandage, and loaded up on painkillers/stuff to help with the inflammation. By morning, it was a little better, and the swelling had gone down. I was getting more use of my hand, but it was very clear the following day, and especially two days later that I had this big black bruise on that meaty part of my hand. Thank goodness I'm a righty! The bruise is still there, but it's definitely getting better, thankfully. I have full use of my hand again, and it's just a little sore to the touch. I can make a fist again, and I'm not afraid of using it in sparring now! ;-) So, that was a little traumatic, but I'm glad that nothing is broken, and it's just a bad bruise.
So, tomorrow Drew gets one more practice class in, and I have one more practice class on Wednesday morning. After last Wednesday's reviews of how I was doing, I should feel pretty confident that I'll be fine. I just have to stay calm, and relax, because I know the material very well. I know what I have to do, and I just have to stay focused. I'll probably still get sick to my stomach before I start anyway. But I have to keep my eyes on the prize-- that long awaited, much anticipated, strongly earned 1st degree black belt.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Now, if we could only have him do that OUTSIDE of the do-jahng
Yesterday's class for Drew went okay. I didn't see all of it (partially staying out of the way as usual), but I asked him if he punched anyone in the face during sparring, and he said no, but he did get too rough and backed off when told to do so. Still breaking with a palm heel, but for now, that's okay. Seemed to be following along, and I didn't hear anyone scolding him as much, or at all for that matter, so that's got to be good.
So, we are working with a counselor, as Drew has some behavioral issues that my husband and I are just having a really difficult time with him, and frankly, I'm burnt out. (You can read most of the gory details at my regular blog, if you are that interested. But fair warning-- it isn't pretty. Not for the faint of heart.) However, Drew has made some improvements at TKD in his behavior in class. There were times in the past whereby he'd have a meltdown and one thing would lead to another and he'd be kicked out of class. This year, there were a few occasions where he would just retract himself from class, and then go back in when he calmed down. Huge improvement. My husband, surprisingly, attributed that to the fact that the instructors there have known him, and they don't put up with any crap of any kind, even though they can be understanding too, and as a result, his respect towards authority is better there than anywhere-- even at home. So, even when the counselor is saying that perhaps we should take one class a week away as a possible punishment for behavior either at school or home, hubby agreed with me, and turned the idea around, that it was better that he stay in there, for the reason that it set a good standard for him. Hmm. While I always knew that TKD -- or any martial art-- would help to instill discipline, focus and respect in kids, I didn't think it was actually getting through to my kid entirely. Perhaps it actually is after all. It might be slow in getting there, but I guess it is, if even my hubby, who rarely sees Drew in action until recently, detected it.
Who knew?
Now, the trick will be, for him to respect and respond better at home and at school, and with the rest of the world. That's the bigger part of the picture. Nope, he can't stop or quit now. He might be on a roll.
One week until black belt testing, and I just want to get it over with and done!
So, we are working with a counselor, as Drew has some behavioral issues that my husband and I are just having a really difficult time with him, and frankly, I'm burnt out. (You can read most of the gory details at my regular blog, if you are that interested. But fair warning-- it isn't pretty. Not for the faint of heart.) However, Drew has made some improvements at TKD in his behavior in class. There were times in the past whereby he'd have a meltdown and one thing would lead to another and he'd be kicked out of class. This year, there were a few occasions where he would just retract himself from class, and then go back in when he calmed down. Huge improvement. My husband, surprisingly, attributed that to the fact that the instructors there have known him, and they don't put up with any crap of any kind, even though they can be understanding too, and as a result, his respect towards authority is better there than anywhere-- even at home. So, even when the counselor is saying that perhaps we should take one class a week away as a possible punishment for behavior either at school or home, hubby agreed with me, and turned the idea around, that it was better that he stay in there, for the reason that it set a good standard for him. Hmm. While I always knew that TKD -- or any martial art-- would help to instill discipline, focus and respect in kids, I didn't think it was actually getting through to my kid entirely. Perhaps it actually is after all. It might be slow in getting there, but I guess it is, if even my hubby, who rarely sees Drew in action until recently, detected it.
Who knew?
Now, the trick will be, for him to respect and respond better at home and at school, and with the rest of the world. That's the bigger part of the picture. Nope, he can't stop or quit now. He might be on a roll.
One week until black belt testing, and I just want to get it over with and done!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
I'm ready! Promotion! I'm ready, edy, edy, edy....
(I think I watch WAY too much Spongebob Squarepants. I've seen the movie and almost every episode since time began. So that subject heading is supposed to be a la Spongebob, like in the Spongebob Movie. It also helps that Spongebob is a martial artist, you know, in kah-rah-taaaaay. ;-) Check out the end of this post for a little Karate Spongebob entertainment.)
Not much going on with TKD right now. I only took one class yesterday, as I was under the impression I had to go to this important Cub Scout meeting for the den leaders (like myself). The other Tiger den leader was under the same impression. It turns out that it was not a den leaders' meeting, but rather a meeting of the Pack people, and neither the other Tiger Leader or I needed to be there! Oy. So my usual triple threat of TKD classes could have still been possible. Oh well. I know for next time.
The Wednesday morning class is actually increasing! We usually have about 4 or 5 people there at most, and yesterday, we had about twice that! We have 4 W/O/Y moms now, and then there's Sandy, ES and myself as the 1st degrees (well, I'm close enough to that to consider myself that), and yesterday, 3- 2nd degree black belts, of which it was one guy! (He's a dentist that sometimes has the time to come in on Wednesday mornings. He's a hoot!) So that makes 10! I think we usually have another "player" or two in the group, but it was a big turnout! I think SW liked that, and everyone there is nice. It's nice, especially with the newbies, to have some new blood in the group, even though they are established moms at the school (their kids are all higher ranked than them). In doing drills across the floor, we concentrated in rechambers. While I think I'm usually good about doing them, it didn't hurt to be more conscientious about them. We then had to do some stretches on our side while laying on the floor, where we had to practice sidekicks from there. I had the right idea, however, after 20+ years of dance, I have way too much turnout, so as a result, when correcting my foot position, it felt like she was twisting my foot off counterclockwise. OUCH! It seems that I have to relearn to do everything turned in more for better foot position. I understand why, but for me, that's like the equivalent of me walking with my toes pointing at each other. It hurts! It took me years to stop walking like a duck and walk with my feet going straighter. Oh well. Between chambers and foot positioning, I have things to think about.
I did practice my form, and SW observed. She saw how I corrected some of my hand and foot timing from last week. She said if I could add these new tweaks with the chambering and foot positioning, I'd be dead on, both for testing and competition soon afterwards. But I've got what I need, and the tweaks I'm doing are just to perfect the form more. It's fine right now, so that's good. Weapons are the same, or at least she didn't correct anything with that. I was the only one there that really had to practice for board breaks. Everyone had a turn, but I went last because of having to do a double break. One thing that was cool was PT, the guy in class, practiced doing his axe kick. However, as a guy, he has to go through *2* boards as a 2nd degree instead of just one. Well, because I was the tallest female, guess who had to hold the boards with SW? Yup. Then my turn came. People thought it odd, but I chose two boards with nasty knotholes in them. Why? Trying to save the good wood for testing. ;-) I didn't break them on the first try, but did on the second try. And in the process, it turned out that the knothole defect on one board, the one I did my reverse sidekick on, had a really ugly defect on the interior of the board where it had been rotting. Ugh! As a result, it broke very crookedly, and I scrape the outside of my achilles heel on it. I thought it was just a little surface scrape until it started bleeding. Good thing there's band-aids at the school. It got under control with that, but the little spot still smarts today. Oh well. At least it's not the actual bottom of my heel!
Drew is still doing alright. I mean, I know he'll pass with help. Yesterday, he said he was tired and that's why he'd goof off. He was doing so badly compared to the others, and they were all older that I thought he'd been mistakenly been put in the wrong group. I was told (after asking) that they had actually split the group into two sections, and the back section of the group that I couldn't see were the kids that had no clue about the form, vs. those who did. So, Drew had a least a clue, even if it was incorrect, and it was with all the older kids who were much higher belts! So, in that respect, it was good. When JC picked him up last night, he said Drew was in good, or at least decent, spirits, so that's good. I think getting him back into TKD is a good thing, especially now that he's in a higher level class than before. It was too boring for so long for him. At least now he's being challenged again.
So that's the summary of the week. I'm ready for my promotion, for sure. I'm ready, I'm ready, promotion, promotion, I'm ready....
Not much going on with TKD right now. I only took one class yesterday, as I was under the impression I had to go to this important Cub Scout meeting for the den leaders (like myself). The other Tiger den leader was under the same impression. It turns out that it was not a den leaders' meeting, but rather a meeting of the Pack people, and neither the other Tiger Leader or I needed to be there! Oy. So my usual triple threat of TKD classes could have still been possible. Oh well. I know for next time.
The Wednesday morning class is actually increasing! We usually have about 4 or 5 people there at most, and yesterday, we had about twice that! We have 4 W/O/Y moms now, and then there's Sandy, ES and myself as the 1st degrees (well, I'm close enough to that to consider myself that), and yesterday, 3- 2nd degree black belts, of which it was one guy! (He's a dentist that sometimes has the time to come in on Wednesday mornings. He's a hoot!) So that makes 10! I think we usually have another "player" or two in the group, but it was a big turnout! I think SW liked that, and everyone there is nice. It's nice, especially with the newbies, to have some new blood in the group, even though they are established moms at the school (their kids are all higher ranked than them). In doing drills across the floor, we concentrated in rechambers. While I think I'm usually good about doing them, it didn't hurt to be more conscientious about them. We then had to do some stretches on our side while laying on the floor, where we had to practice sidekicks from there. I had the right idea, however, after 20+ years of dance, I have way too much turnout, so as a result, when correcting my foot position, it felt like she was twisting my foot off counterclockwise. OUCH! It seems that I have to relearn to do everything turned in more for better foot position. I understand why, but for me, that's like the equivalent of me walking with my toes pointing at each other. It hurts! It took me years to stop walking like a duck and walk with my feet going straighter. Oh well. Between chambers and foot positioning, I have things to think about.
I did practice my form, and SW observed. She saw how I corrected some of my hand and foot timing from last week. She said if I could add these new tweaks with the chambering and foot positioning, I'd be dead on, both for testing and competition soon afterwards. But I've got what I need, and the tweaks I'm doing are just to perfect the form more. It's fine right now, so that's good. Weapons are the same, or at least she didn't correct anything with that. I was the only one there that really had to practice for board breaks. Everyone had a turn, but I went last because of having to do a double break. One thing that was cool was PT, the guy in class, practiced doing his axe kick. However, as a guy, he has to go through *2* boards as a 2nd degree instead of just one. Well, because I was the tallest female, guess who had to hold the boards with SW? Yup. Then my turn came. People thought it odd, but I chose two boards with nasty knotholes in them. Why? Trying to save the good wood for testing. ;-) I didn't break them on the first try, but did on the second try. And in the process, it turned out that the knothole defect on one board, the one I did my reverse sidekick on, had a really ugly defect on the interior of the board where it had been rotting. Ugh! As a result, it broke very crookedly, and I scrape the outside of my achilles heel on it. I thought it was just a little surface scrape until it started bleeding. Good thing there's band-aids at the school. It got under control with that, but the little spot still smarts today. Oh well. At least it's not the actual bottom of my heel!
Drew is still doing alright. I mean, I know he'll pass with help. Yesterday, he said he was tired and that's why he'd goof off. He was doing so badly compared to the others, and they were all older that I thought he'd been mistakenly been put in the wrong group. I was told (after asking) that they had actually split the group into two sections, and the back section of the group that I couldn't see were the kids that had no clue about the form, vs. those who did. So, Drew had a least a clue, even if it was incorrect, and it was with all the older kids who were much higher belts! So, in that respect, it was good. When JC picked him up last night, he said Drew was in good, or at least decent, spirits, so that's good. I think getting him back into TKD is a good thing, especially now that he's in a higher level class than before. It was too boring for so long for him. At least now he's being challenged again.
So that's the summary of the week. I'm ready for my promotion, for sure. I'm ready, I'm ready, promotion, promotion, I'm ready....
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