Man, what drug was I taking when I signed up for Leadership?

I was questioning again what I had gotten myself into today again with jumping into Leadership after dropping off the last bit of equipment from last Saturday's tournament over at the ATA today. It was all informal, as Ma'am and Nancy were cleaning up stuff and trying to get the back all organized. I had never much gone in the back of the office area (and still haven't gone upstairs-- I didn't know there was an upstairs!), so it was revealing-- and a mess. But, Nancy is on a kick to help Ma'am get better organized and cleaned up. That's fine. I also helped clear out Nancy's car of tournament stuff, and then I helped (due to my height) rehanging two flags on the wall, as Nancy and her husband and Ma'am are working to refurbish and refreshen the look of the school. I didn't mind helping with that. While I was there too, Ma'am gave me my Leadership Training Guide, which is a 4" thick binder full of a lot of information. She, Nancy and I were also talking about business training, and she gave me the business training manual, which is essentially a sales manual. Ma'am, having enough confidence in knowing that I already do sales said, "You're going to laugh when you read this stuff. It's so funny especially if you've done sales to read these scripts." She also informed me that there will be a business seminar/workout at Mrs. C.'s school (the one in South Brunswick, which is probably as close to me as the Princeton ATA if not a hair closer) on May 12th, and she hasn't announced it to the rest of the group. She said there was a $50 fee, and somehow I lost something in there, but I somehow got the impression that she might cover it for me if I can go with her. I'll have to double check and listen when she announces on Wednesday at Leadership class to make sure.

After I left, and later today when I got home, I started to look at these binders. Crap. Double crap. What did I get myself into? I'm feeling pretty insecure and overwhelmed at the information. I mean, I felt overwhelmed just with the new Leadership class alone last week. It was bad enough that I have to learn ALL the forms, weapons forms, etc. including my own which I still haven't learned myself yet (but that's a little understandable to be overwhelmed by that), but there's so much more to it, including the business side. I'm trying not to freak out just yet, as when you start something big and new like this, it's always overwhelming, and I appreciate that. But this is something that you have to be into for the long haul if you are truly serious about it. So, since I've only truly put myself into this in the last week or so since signing up, I just have to learn to pace myself and trust that Ma'am will lead me in the right direction. She hasn't let me down yet.