Almost exactly one month and counting....

Testing days are on October 23rd and 24th, and naturally, I'm going for the 24th. Prolong the agony as long as possible, and I usually have class at that same time, and with the busy week we usually have, it's better to just stick to routine as much as possible. Anyway...

Drew finally had his first Monday class. We got there on time and everything. SW was teaching, and well, she was a lot tougher than usual. I don't know if it's because things have become too lax for her liking over the past year that, as she said, she's being the "mean teacher/instructor" again, or if she was trying to impress this tough couple from South Africa that were checking out her style. Nonetheless, I was really afraid that Drew might crack at some point, that she was being too strict. Since I had to leave early to attend Cub Scout leader training (4 hours long with only 1-10 minute break! Yikes!), I actually watched class, which I normally don't do. She had them start out with an exercise which she's done with us older kids,;-), which is do a jab-cross with a kihap to her count, switch sides, reverse it, then do the same thing adding a front kick after the punch combo, and reversing. Much to my surprise, although it shouldn't have been, Drew did great! He didn't get carried away and silly, and his punches and kicks were strong. When he glanced my way, I gave him an approving smile and a thumbs up. He was happy. She also tried working with them doing the hook kick, then the reverse hook. Now, I understand the breakdown of how to do it, and in drills, I can do it. However, the reason she was teaching it was that it's in CJ#2. Sure enough, I have a hard time putting it into motion and making it look good. I've worked on it for 3 cycles over the past year, and it's never looked "pretty", or at least it never felt like it looked pretty. Anyway, Drew needed a bathroom break, and was allowed to go, and I had to help him because he had 3 layers on-- undies, jock strap (to put cup in later), and of course, his uniform pants. So I went with him just to help. Yeah, I'm that kind of mom. Soon after he joined back in class, and I had to leave. I asked SW if he was okay for the rest of class, and she said yeah, he was fine. Was concerned about not remembering where his gear bag was, but otherwise was fine. WHEW! He seems to be listening and holding up okay in class so far. He complains about going, but I remind him that he promised he would go in 1st grade, and once he's there, he's fine. I think also that having those weeks at fun camp where it was a battle of the wills and SW won, so he knows not to cross her because he won't win. That's part of what I suspect. I think they are also keeping him interested and moving, and that always helps. He seems a little more enthusiastic about doing it once he's there, and he likes to show off his skills. I wish he was more mature and that I could put him in Leadership, because if we didn't have the scheduling conflict with Scouts, I'd take him to do XMA, I mean ATA Xtreme. Maybe by the time we get to the point that he's ready for that, there won't be a scheduling conflict.

In the meantime, today I finally asked SW that dreaded question about the back elbow break, and the possibility of changing my board break for testing. She explained that the horizontal break was not a back elbow break at all, and that's why she enforced the one she does, and she doesn't understand why other schools allow that. It was at that point that SHE suggested trying out a different breaking combo. I was relieved! As I told her, I was afraid that she'd say that it was too late in the process to do that. She felt that it would be prudent, as she wants me to feel confident about my breaks and succeed. She felt that someone with my height and body shape/weight distribution, that the round kick/reverse side kick combo would work out better. It's a fairly common black belt rank testing break, but I hate to admit it, but she's right (she usually is about these things, and that's why she's the 4th degree and I'm not). Now, what makes things interesting is that most people break with the same foot on both of those. Not me. I break with my left foot for my round kick, but usually do side kick breaks with my right. While I will be working with her on how to do it properly, I was figuring out the timing and positioning of doing these, knowing how to do a reverse side kick, at least, and I think that alternate foot combination will work well. If I kick with my left foot, I naturally land with my foot in front, from which I would immediately be in the right stance to make that reverse body spin, to set up to kick behind me with the right. I really think it'll work, but we'll see when I try it out in class tomorrow.

Tonight, I talked with JC about the testing, and the breaks and all that. I told him that originally I had wanted to have him, Drew, my parents, etc. come to my testing, but now I'm not so sure because of this lack of confidence. Until I feel like I can do this break, I'm afraid of failing in front of all these people. If I fail, I have to wait until December before I can test again, and mentally and emotionally I'm not up to that either. I'm bored out of my skull with the stuff I'm working on. I have worked long and hard to have a mere board break hold me back. It sucks. He said he'd still like to come if he can, and I said I'll wing it. It's one thing to have Pen and Sandy come, as they've seen me during the trip up, so to speak, and they are classmates, so they know what it's like. But to perform for your husband, and your parents? Different story. And I hadn't told him this yet (but will as soon as I finish typing this), Drew has expressed to me that he's not happy that I'm getting my black belt. I don't know if it's jealousy or what it is, but he said it makes him unhappy that I'm so far ahead. Granted, I originally did start out behind him,but between SW changing her rules about when kids advance, and him taking breaks, well, he IS behind, and part of that is him. If he hadn't taken such long breaks, he'd probably be a blue belt by now, about halfway through the system or so. Instead, the next testing, he's going to be going for his full camo belt. He still has 6 more belts after that. Things will speed up a little more once he turns 7 next year (and bigger expectations), as he still only has to do half of the form now, but at 7 he'll have to do the whole form. That's if he continues to stick with this, which I hope he does. I'm not sure about how to deal with that. Part of my thinking is that I shouldn't have him come to my testing, and just go alone because it's been a trip all on my own for the most part anyway. Just do it under the radar, so to speak, without drawing a lot of attention to it for him. I don't know. I'm going to have to think about it.

So, tomorrow I will have to really limber up again, and work hard for this. I want this to work too badly. I don't want to be stuck as a 1BR any longer than I have to be. I want that 1BD designation too badly. I still have some of that cold, but I'm not as weak and feeling like a dead fish like I was a week ago. I need to push myself a little more. I guess that's what being a black belt is about.